An important moment of reflection comes via the memory of a New Year’s dinner-Jing-mei got belittled by Waverly and served herself some crab of dubious quality. Jing-mei always felt that she had disappointed her mother’s high expectations, and that her mom refused to see her for who she was.īut Jing-mei’s comes to the realization that her mother did love her. Jing-mei begins the novel as remembering Suyuan as hyper-critical and demanding. When Suyuan dies, Jing-mei has to fill her shoes, not only by replacing her at the Joy Luck Club, but by stepping up to fulfill her mother’s greatest wish: to meet Suyuan’s twin daughters and tell them about Suyuan’s life.Ī lot of this book-in fact, we'd go so far as so say the central narrative-is about Jing-mei’s path toward discovering her mother and discovering herself at the same time. Her mother, Suyuan, is extremely capable and driven, and also a great cook and mah jong player. We're going to get a little Freud-lite here: a lot of Jing-mei's issues spring from living in her mother’s shadow. She gets her feelings hurt easily, and has a strong tendency to think that she can only be what she is today, and nothing better. You get the sense that she feels unmoored: unsure of who she is, unsure of where she comes from, and unsure of her personal value. Out of all the daughters, Jing-mei develops the least personally. But instead, she tried very hard not to be a good pianist. Jing-mei herself admitted that she might have become a decent pianist if she had tried. I won’t let her change me, I promised to myself. I had new thoughts, willful thoughts, or rather thoughts filled with lots of won’ts. The girl staring back at me was angry, powerful. I looked at my reflection, blinking so I could see more clearly. Such a sad, ugly girl! I made high-pitched noises like a crazed animal, trying to scratch out the face in the mirror.Īnd then I saw what seemed to be the prodigy side of me – because I had never seen that face before. Before going to bed that night, I looked in the mirror above the bathroom sink and when I saw only my face staring back – and it would always be this ordinary face – I began to cry. I hated the tests, the raised hopes and the failed expectations. This was an act of both self-realization and self-sabotage:Īnd after seeing my mother’s disappointed face once again, something inside of me began to die. When she was little, Jing-mei was adamant about asserting her right to fall short of expectations and just be who she was. That's the adult equivalent of a toddler holding their breath to win an argument. Jing-mei is strong willed (she got it from her mama) but a lot of that strength of will manifests in the least helpful way possible: Jing-mei undercuts her own successes in life just to show everyone she can. Jing-mei (June) Woo Shooting Herself In The Foot
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